Tuesday, February 8, 2011

How am I doing?.....

I've been feeling very stressed and very angry lately. People who know me, know that I am not an angry person. I hate the feeling. I don't know exactly who I am angry with - the world? My job? God? Chevy Trucks? Des Moines? ...Brendan…?
Friday I was exceptionally miserable. Frustrations at work were escalated due to my anger and very simple things made me very mad. I had plans with Mike, but told him to find something else to do, as I would be poor company. To my surprise, he didn't care what my mood was, he wanted to be there for me. He let me cry on his shoulder...

Saturday was P's 2nd bday party - and it was fun! I love seeing the Goodrich family and my family all together. My Aunt Ellen had come down for the weekend and it was fun to have her there. She met Boston for the first time too! We had a girls night/birthday party for Jessica and had fun at Mi Mexico with some shaker margaritas - then head to Bombay Club for a couple drinks. Mike was nice enough to pick Jessica and me up from the bar.

I am struggling. Every day. It seems somehow every situation can tie back to Brendan. He was in my life for 9 years… we have a lot of memories. I know I need to remember the good times, and I do. It just hurts...

With out my friends and family I don't think I'd be functioning at all. I have some of the greatest people in my life and I am so thankful for that.

I had a friend say that it will get worse before it gets better - he was right. I just hope this is the worst, cause I can't handle much more.

1 comment:

  1. Holly, my heart goes out to you. It's incredibly painful to lose someone you love, whatever your relationship to them was. Perhaps your situation is made worse because (amateur psychology here) you had 'unfinished business' and the opportunity to truly sort out your friendship has been snatched away from you. You're grieving and there's no right or wrong way to do it. Some people canpick themselves up and get on with life and some find it harder. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the time you need to heal. It will get easier. My thoughts are with you. All best wishes, Nikki