Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Presley Grace

I watched Presley from 8:44am Saturday morning till about 12:38pm Sunday afternoon.I wasn't nervous, I knew I could handle her. Plus, it was a great distraction from the previous weeks events.

When she realized both her parents had left, she ran to her room, went in her closest and closed the door. I went in her room, looking at the closed closet door, hearing her cry - and I started to cry too. "Presley… it's ok!" I cried… I opened the door, and she looked at me, tears running down her cheeks and mine and she raised her arms for me to pick her up. I melted… pulled myself together and got ready for a play date.

We went to my friend Michelle's house to play with her two boys, Drew and Dylan. Drew is about 4, Dylan is 21 months or so… a little younger then Presley. We got there about 10:30 - lunch at 12, left about 12:45ish. She didn't leave my lap or my side until about 10 minutes before we were going to leave and only because she wanted to climb the stairs…. She takes awhile to warm up to people, but seriously? Drew and Dylan have some AWESOME toys...I enjoyed playing with them. :)

Sunday we got up, ate breakfast, played, got her ready for the day in her packers gear, ate lunch then headed to my mom's for Presley to nap, and for me to watch some football with the family. I hadn't done anything with myself, looked pretty shitty actually and I was feeling very sad. When we got to my parents house, I put Presley on the couch near my mom, took off her coat and mittens and went to go put them in the other room, when I walked away, Presley started crying for me! I went back in the room and picked her up, staring to cry myself - cause I do that a lot lately. I had her in my arms and it was the best feeling. She needed me and she wanted me. That hasn't happened much in her life, and giving the timing, it was the perfect time for me to be needed.

No doubt kids are a lot of work, and I do not hear a biological clock ticking - at all. But the feeling of being needed, being completely responsible for someone is a great feeling. Maybe someday that clock will start ticking in me….

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